Happy New Year! – I’m not sure what the ruling on how long you continue to say “happy new year” is – but seeing as it’s my first blog of 2018 and it’s early March so feels like a good place to start!

I also need to start by apologising for how slack I have been with my blogging of late – once my gorgeous girl arrived in October I got in my baby bubble and stayed there and it was amazing!

I had so many messages when Harley was born congratulating us (thank you I read them all!), and also asking for details about her birth and how it’s been going so far. A lot of new mothers reading this will know we don’t need much of an invite to start talking about babies!! And I could talk about her all day… but don’t worry – I won’t.

At 6am on October 4th 2017 – 4 days after her due date – my waters were broken and I went into labour.

After 16 hours I was told that baby was stuck and not able to come out naturally. I had done a lot of reading and talking about baby arriving that way, and very little on what happens with a C section, so to say I panicked was an understatement. I had really worked myself up to have this baby girl naturally – so I could have my moment when they place your newborn child on your chest. As a Mum there are so many moments that are just for Mums that I needn’t have worried.

I don’t panic well, my filter disappears completely – for example when my OB came to take me through to surgery he came in wearing gum boots, to which I asked, “what exactly is falling on the floor that you’ll need to be wearing gumboots?!” He laughed. I did not.

Guppy was an incredibly calming influence when we went into the operating room. He held my hand and put his head next to mine and just talked to me.

Next thing we heard was the wee cry of our gorgeous, long, tiny, 7lbs03oz baby girl, Harley Louise Guptill.

The next part happened so fast – the baby was popped up over the curtain and then she was gone, so was Guppy to cut the cord. I had to ask for baby to come back because I needed to see her again, I hated being able to hear her but not touch her.

When she was handed to me in recovery and I held her and fed her for the first time I felt this amazing feeling of achievement and this indescribable feeling of purpose.

Babies are such a gift. I have loved every minute of being a Mum. I have loved watching Guppy be a Daddy. I didn’t think it was possible but I think I love him more.

My pregnancy was plagued with tough times outside of actually being pregnant. My Nana Julie (my families rock) got really sick and the doctors didn’t know if she would see our baby girl. The doctors clearly didn’t know who they were dealing with, Nana was meeting her first great Grandbaby.

So 5 days after Harley was born we wrapped her up in every piece of wool I had (seriously, every bit, she looked like a sheep) and we got on a plane to Christchurch for the day so she could meet her Great Nana and Great Mama.

This is my Nana Julie with her first great Granddaughter when they cuddled for the SECOND time! Harley had cuddles with her Great Nana on 3 occasions before she left us in December. I know she will be up there in heaven, always Harley’s guardian angel. But I miss her so much. She was the most amazing lady.

Daddy Guppy ready for Harley’s first flight, just a day trip to Christchurch – it seems traveling light is a thing of the past!

I’ll never forget the joy the baby has brought to everyone. Especially Guppy and I. We feel so lucky to be her Mum and Dad. And so privileged to be able to watch her grow up, which seems to be happening really fast. Too fast. I could cry just thinking about it. I cry a lot now. At most things. Like, Kylie Jenner’s baby announcement video – I was basically sobbing.

The day after Christchurch Guppy left for a 4 week tour of India – talk about an emotional rollercoaster. Again – there was a lot of tears. Mum moved in to help me, and I am glad and grateful she did. I could not have done it without her or the support of my family. My Dad was round every day after work and so were both my brothers. They take this Uncle business very seriously. How great is family?

I think I underestimated how big a surgery a C section was. Every time I’d cough, or sneeze I’d have to grab my scar and pray my insides didn’t come flying out. I’m quietly confident they won’t come out now but I still grab on just to be sure.

I had lots of messages from Mums who were due the same time as us or just a bit after, I hope things are going well for you. I hope you’re taking all the advice you get with a grain of salt and just doing what works for you! Oh and more than anything I hope you’re getting sleep.

Now I’m always at least ten mins late for every appointment, I potentially was that way before Harley – but here’s hoping I can get this blog going again! And I have loved hearing from you all, so keep the messages coming. I’m excited for what 2018 holds and excited to be sharing them with you all.